I was driving the other day when I realized that I completely missed out on Halloween fun this year. The third year in a row, actually, out of a long streak of over a dozen years. I have no kids anymore. No kids at home. It is very sad. We live so rural that we never got any trick or treaters in the twenty-two years that we lived here. ‘Cept for one- my girlfriend Lucy Seyler brought her very secure and cool teenage son over one year (dressed in drag). She told me they were going to visit us and so I was able to get some candy and be prepared. Lucy gave me the idea to celebrate Halloween by celebrating our friends. So all the years I had my kids at home, we would ALL dress up, (sometimes even Todd) and I would pre-call our local family friends and sign them up in a time slot- from early afternoon all through the evening. We hit up about 10-12 families and got to hang out and visit and eat good food and drink, come away with serious stashes of good candy (as we were the only trick-or-treaters for them too) and had a lovely day with our dear friends. We were able to bring a little joy into their lives and we sure had fun ourselves coming up with the costumes. (Bryce was known to spend hours in the bathroom with his Halloween make-up kits fashioning boils and scars and safety pins ‘stuck’ into his flesh.)
I know I am missing out. I miss it so badly I announced to Todd this year that just he and I were going to do it but I wasn’t met with a whole lot of enthusiasm. Somehow, without the rug rats being along, it takes a lot of the fun away.
Shortly after realizing this disappointment, I realized that we no longer do our Alternative Native American Tipi Thanksgiving Party out in the orchard. We’d dress in rustic clothing, everyone would bring a dish like bean soup, wild rice stuffed squash, sumac tea, walnut maple syrup upside down cake, watercress salad, and we would beat on drums to Carlos Nakai CD’s and roast venison shishkabobs over the fire and each take a turn to say what we were grateful for and the kids would dance around the flames like “Dances with Wolves.” We don’t do that anymore either. Shit.
Then my friend Dave Kline spent the day with me last week and we moved seamlessly through the day, celebrating All Soul’s Day at Duffy’s Cut with my history professor friend, Bill Watson, http://www.duffyscutproject.com
We had dinner up at North Lookout- thermos with soup and hot choco and witnessed the rising of the moon, then went over to the Hawk Mtn owl banding station to watch tiny little gorgeous saw whet owls get captured in a mist net by biologists and then taken into the a shed for studies and measurements. Dave called it an Adventure Day and I liked that.
I decided that we need to have more of these Adventure Days. We need to up the Fun Factor here as we still work on negotiating this shitful Empty Nest Dilemna. Dave and his wife Kathy adopted 4 Greyhounds after their 4 children moved out, but dogs aren’t enough for me.
Most of you know that I have recently been traveling the world to Brazil, Belize, Zimbabwe, Columbia and the like, and it sounds sick, but it ain’t enough. I want Adventure Days. Reasons to celebrate. Make a fuss over the fact that we are alive. Just because our darling fun-masters aren’t living at home anymore, doesn’t mean we have to work like work-crazed Germans and have no fun.
Dave asked me for a date near my birthday for another Adventure Day. I like this, I’m gonna look into finding more reasons and excuses for Adventure Days.
We should do this for ourselves but also for kids, for as the quote goes, “Gather up as many good experiences as possible. It increases your chances of being a pleasant old person.”
Todd, next year, you’re gonna have to come up with a Halloween costume. because we’re going out for candy again!
Posted in: Life's Moments and Lessons